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Month: September 2021

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Growth Leadership Personal Development

Trust is Like a Brick Wall

Trust is like a brick wall

Here’s a visual that explains how trust works. Imagine a huge brick wall. That wall was built by adding one brick at a time, brick by brick and slowly over a certain period; those bricks accumulate to become a solid and strong structure. It can take years to build, and the only way to build it is by adding one brick at a time. There’s no shortcut to building that wall any faster, and the only way to build it is by carefully adding one brick at a time.

Every opportunity that person has to show they’re trustworthy represents one brink in the wall

Then due to a betrayal and shattering of trust, it takes only moments for it to be torn down.

Now, imagine that huge brick wall tumbling down because of something tragic and unexpected. You’re looking at the rubble that used to be this enormous brick wall, and you can’t imagine how that wall can ever be repaired. Here’s what I believe.

I believe it can’t be repaired, but it can be rebuilt

You’re looking at a pile of bricks that took years of consistency, repetition, and attention to build. If the entire wall came tumbling down, patching it up simply won’t work. With the brick wall down, you also have an opportunity to see if it can be rebuilt any better, bigger, stronger, or more beautiful.

You have another option too

That option is to decide if it’s even worth the effort and energy it would take to rebuild or if you’d be better off walking away. If you choose to rebuild a new wall, however, what’s the only way to put it back together again? Brick by brick by brick.

Sure, you can stare at the rubble of bricks and decide that it’s too big and too exhausting of a task to build again. You can question if it’s worth the effort and energy that it will take to rebuild and how you’ll approach this new project. But that’s totally up to you.

That’s how trust works 

It can take years to build trust with someone and in one earth-shattering moment, the entire wall can come tumbling down.

While it can most definitely be built again, however, there are unfortunately no shortcuts here. Building that trust couldn’t be rushed when it was originally being built, and it certainly can’t be rushed when it comes to building it again, especially if the intention is to rebuild that trust with the person who hurt you. Let’s dive into this a bit more.

Rebuilding trust in yourself and your decisions and trusting in something bigger, in life, and in your healing is completely up to you

Rebuilding trust in the person who hurt you involves a few other steps, so let’s start there. First, it may or may not be an option. If the person who hurt you is unwilling to take responsibility for their actions, if they’re denying what they did or said, or if they somehow blame you for the betrayal, you really don’t have much to work with here when it comes to rebuilding trust with that person.

Trying to rebuild trust when you’re met with this response isn’t the best use of your time and energy. Your experience may also leave you with the fact that the person who hurt you may no longer be alive or in any capacity to begin this new trust-rebuilding project. So, here it’s best to focus on yourself and your healing so that you can move on.

However, while some people are unwilling to rebuild trust with the person they hurt, some betrayers can be open, available, and eager to rebuild a new and better brick wall of trust if given the opportunity. These people have very different responses. These are the “bricklayers,” the ones ready and willing to do whatever it takes to build a new wall. They’re grateful for the opportunity, and it’s as if the fog has been cleared for them to see you and what truly matters so clearly. These are the people who (if you are willing to try too) are going to do all they can to build something new and beautiful. Once realizing how deeply they hurt you (while being remorseful, taking full responsibility, and, if they’re willing, doing what it takes to regain your trust), you can slowly see the potential here.

If this is your betrayer’s honest response to the pain they caused and you’re willing to consider slowly and carefully rebuilding a new relationship with that person, you’re both in a position to see that brick wall slowly become rebuilt.

How do you know if that person is willing to do the work and if it’s in your best interest to watch that wall get rebuilt? How do you know when it’s best to walk away? How do you rebuild trust in yourself and others so you regain that sense of safety and security that was torn down? I teach you how in Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence and Happiness.

Trust is so foundation and when it’s shattered, it impacts our trust in others, in ourselves…in everything. When we’re coming from that space, we’ve closed ourselves off to the joy, love, and fulfillment that’s available to us when we learn how to safely, carefully, and cautiously trust again. You deserve to heal from all of it.

Not only is it possible, it’s predictable.

If you’ve been stuck for years, even decades, it’s likely due to the shattering of trust, betrayal, and/or a belief system that no longer serves you. The beliefs and habits we form as a result can make us healed…or hardened. Join me for a free launch party on Oct. 5th for the release of my newest book: From Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck and Create a Life You Love.

Categories
Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“How To Negotiate More Effectively Against A Black Swan” – Negotiation Insights

“Negotiating against a devious black swan negotiator can be dangerous. But worse, is not recognizing the degree of his depravity.” -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)     Click here to get the book!

 

“How To Negotiate More Effectively Against A Black Swan”

 

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.

When you negotiate, more than likely, you assume that you are dealing with someone that will abide by what he says. If he gives his word, your assumption is, it is good. But what happens when you are negotiating against a black swan, someone so devious that he will be manipulative and lie to sway you to adopt his will? You wonder, is negotiating with the devil any worse?

You can overcome the dastardly deeds of black swan negotiators in your negotiations. That is if you are so unfortunate to encounter one in the first place. And here is how to do that.

Click here to discover more!

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcasts at https://megaphone.link/CSN6318246585  Once there, double click on the one you would like to hear.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive weekly free 5-minute sneak peeks into the brilliant techniques offered by Greg, click here

https://www.themasternegotiator.com/negotiation-speaker/   and sign up at the bottom of the page

 

 

Categories
Best Practices Culture Growth Health and Wellness

The Difference You Can Make: Grandma Sparky’s Blue Ribbon Campaign

When was the last time you felt truly appreciated?

No matter how much we do for our families and our communities, we’re all still hardwired to hold onto negative feedback more than positive feedback. That can be pretty damaging, especially considering that people are more likely to default to criticism than praise.

Even if criticism isn’t malicious, we often internalize it as reinforcement of our own insecurities. It’s true for adults—and it’s true for children, too.

That’s why it is so important that we let people know how much we value them and how much of a difference they make to us.

Grandma Sparky’s Blue Ribbon Campaign

I want to tell you about someone really special.

Grandma Sparky is a woman who, at 37 years old, contemplated suicide every day. On the surface, she had it all, but deep inside, she was struggling.

She knew what it was like to feel lost, desperate, and alone, so she harnessed that internal pain and transformed it into something beautiful.

She began reaching out in her community to teach others how to show their appreciation for one another, and eventually, the Blue Ribbon campaign was born.

 

Virtualblueribbon.jpeg

The Blue Ribbon campaign is a way to let people in your community know that they matter.

Each blue ribbon says, “Who I Am Makes A Difference” and is meant for somebody who makes a difference in your life. Then, that person gets two blue ribbons to distribute to people who make a difference in their life. . . and so on.

Who You Are Matters

You may already be aware that September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. According to the World Health Organization, one person dies by suicide every 40 seconds.

No matter who we are, we all need to be told that we make a difference to somebody else.

Unfortunately, we can’t undo the tragedies that have already occurred. What we can focus on today, however, is telling the people in our life that they matter. Grandma Sparky’s Blue Ribbon campaign allows you to do that in a tangible way that can easily be paid forward.

Who YOU are makes a difference.

Right now you can visit the Blue Ribbon campaign website and get 10 free blue ribbons. When you give someone a ribbon, make sure you give them two more so they can pay it forward to the people in their life who make a difference.

Who will you give your ribbons to?

 

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

 

P.S. If you’re a parent looking for a place to call home, join our private Facebook Group.  And if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please know help is available. You can contact the Suicide Prevention Hotline 24/7 for support.

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

BulletProof Your Mind

There’s a wealth of materials featuring successful business leaders telling you why maintaining a positive mindset while running a business. This is especially crucial and essential if you’re starting small.

Positive thinking or having a positive mindset means opening yourself up to success and happiness. Positive thinkers are not entirely devoid of negative thoughts and self-criticism, they just put much weight on the favorable outcomes, rather than the untoward ones.

Why have a positive mindset?

The idea behind the power of positive thinking is that when your mind is in a positive place, good things come into your life. The universe will conspire to bring you closer to the reality you’ve always been thinking about. Being optimistic opens yourself up to allowing good things to come your way. Maintaining a positive mindset doesn’t mean a blind belief that everything will go smoothly without you doing anything.

On the contrary, it’s the belief that once you make sure to do everything on your part, there’s nothing else left to do but to hope for the best. That’s as realistic as you could ever hope for. Even if each day does not go perfectly, positive thinkers think about the things that went well instead of focusing on those that didn’t. Furthermore, the power of positive thinking is that you will attract others like you and encourage one another to reach your life goals.

Embracing a positive mindset

Embracing a positive mindset is beneficial to you especially if you’re running a small business for the following reasons:

  • Your problem-solving skills will improve. Positive thinkers open themselves up to new possibilities. Having a positive mindset helps you see a unique perspective that negative thinkers (or those with a defeatist attitude) might not be privy to. This enables them to tackle any problems and solve challenges as they arise.
  • Positive thinkers have more energy. It all starts with the mind. If you embrace a positive mindset, your body also responds. You will feel a surge in the enthusiasm that will fuel you to survive your ordeals, day in and day out.
  • Helps you develop resilience. Very few entrepreneurs make it big with their first idea or business venture. Why? Maybe they had the wrong motive; i.e. they just thought about the money and nothing else. For some, they might quit at the first sign of a challenge. This comes as an irony to what small business entrepreneurs represent. Being the “new kid on the block”, one might presume that you’re out to challenge the status quo and that involves solving problems the bigger companies were not able to. As such, you can’t expect to solve everything on your first try. What do you do? You press on! Armed with a positive mindset, you continue to find other ways hoping to solve the same problem later on.
  • Improves decision-making. It is somewhat logical that if you’re in a negative frame of mind, you’re less likely to make decisions that have a positive impact. Think about it this way. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’re supposed to eat risks for breakfast. We’re not telling you that positive thinkers are reckless. On the contrary, they know when to push the pedal and when to step on the brakes. If you think negatively, you’d probably just embrace a defensive attitude and this will eventually entail missing huge opportunities along the way.

Bottom Line

As highlighted above, embracing a positive mindset can benefit you in more ways than you can imagine. The great thing is that it doesn’t cost you anything to be positive! The benefits also don’t end with you. Being the leader, your employees will look up to you for guidance and inspiration.

By maintaining a positive mindset, you do not only do yourself a favor, but you’re also setting a good example to your subordinates and employees.

To learn more about how you can develop a strong positive mindset in the business environment, you can download this free eBook entitled ‘BulletProof Your Mind’.

We hope you learned a thing or two about today’s topic! Subscribe to this blog to stay on top of our latest content. Also, tune in to our podcast ‘Charged Up Studio’ every Tuesday at 9 AM ET where we feature guest professionals each week bringing valuable tips for small business owners like yourself.

Danna is a Business Growth Strategist and CEO of MarketAtomy, LLC. Her passion is working with small first-stage entrepreneurs to ensure that they start out on the right foot and stay on the path to financial freedom. Known as the Business Birthing Specialist, Danna understands the intricacies involved in starting and running a successful business. As an intricate component ingrained into her client’s business structure, she works diligently to keep her clients accountable and on track to fulfilling their success goals.

A graduate of the University of Central Florida’s College of Business. She brings more than 35 years of strategic planning experience in business, marketing, and business development both nationally and internationally.

Danna is not only a professional business growth strategist but has worked Internationally within the country of Brazil. She is a public speaker and four-time #1 Best Selling Author on Amazon.

To reach Danna at MarketAtomy, LLC email danna.olivo@marketatomy.com.

Categories
Body Language Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Negotiations Sales Skills Women In Business

“Uncover Hidden Information 3 Safe Ways To Win In Negotiations” – Negotiation Tip of the Week

We can forgive those that conceal information. But we should not forgive ourselves for lacking the skills to uncover it. -Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)   

Click here to get the book!

 

“Uncover Hidden Information  – 3 Safe Ways To Win In Negotiations”

People don’t realize they’re always negotiating!

During negotiations, information is king. Meaning, the more information you have, the more significant the options you can select to progress the negotiation. So, negotiators should always ask themselves, how can I uncover hidden information that might benefit my negotiation efforts?

Knowing how to extract concealed information gives you a distinct advantage during negotiations. And that is why you should add this skill to your negotiation repertoire. What follows are three ways you can uncover hidden information, along with how and when to use it.

Click here to discover three ways you can uncover hidden information!

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

 

Listen to Greg’s podcasts at https://megaphone.link/CSN6318246585  Once there, double click on the one you would like to hear.

 

After reading this article, what are you thinking? I’d like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com

 

To receive weekly free 5-minute sneak peeks into the brilliant techniques offered by Greg, click here

https://www.themasternegotiator.com/negotiation-speaker/   and sign up at the bottom of the page

 

 

 

 

Categories
Growth Human Resources Personal Development

If Your Train Them, They Will Stay

I believe one key to building retention, performance and satisfaction is to tell job applicants what will be expected of them if they come on board – and even to tell them during interviews. “Why wait until the first job review and then tell employees what they haven’t done right?” Evan wrote in a recent article.  And we couldn’t agree more.

It makes sense to utilize the earliest opportunities to explain the behaviors, attitudes and accomplishments that your organization values. For example, you can tell job applicants, “We value and reward people who can quickly apply creative solutions to customer issues, who are eager to contribute new ideas and solutions and above all, who demonstrate a strongly positive attitude toward each other and our clients.”

Training Offers an Opportunity to Set Motivational Expectations

The training you deliver to new employees offers an opportunity to teach not only skills but what is valued in your organization. Here are some opportunities . . .

  • Talk about the values and behaviors that bring success in your company.
  • Discuss your company’s vision, mission, and values. As an exercise, Evan suggests having each employee explain, in his or her own words, just what the company vision is.
  • Use videos and other engaging content that teach compelling lessons about your company’s values. You can tell the company story and profile top executives, customers, and employees who are really getting the job done.
  • Explain advancement opportunities and career paths within your organization. Spelling out this information motivates employees much more effectively than letting them discover “the ropes” after they come on board.
  • Use games, exercises, and break-out activities that encourage trainees to think about why they are performing activities, not simply trying to learn the steps you expect them to take.

To learn more about providing great training, be sure to check out the course Customer Service Success.

About Evan Hackel

Evan Hackel, a 35-year franchising veteran is a nationally recognized expert and speaker on franchising. Evan is founder and CEO of Ingage Consulting, and CEO of Tortal Training, a leading training development company. Evan is an active advisor in the C-Suite Network. He is also author of Ingaging Leadership, and host of “Training Unleashed,” a podcast covering training for business. Contact him here, follow him at @ehackel, or call 781-820-7609.

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

Corporate CPR: Interview with Dr. Troy Hall, Talent Retention Strategies and Consultant

Dr. Troy Hall is an award-winning culture strategist, speaker, best-selling author, and talent retention expert. He has been featured on the Today Show, ABC, Beyond the Business Radio Show, and CEO world. 

His book Cohesion Culture discusses how leaders can create safe workplaces where employees feel valued and share mutual commitment. In addition, he has provided executive counseling to leaders, founders, and CEOs throughout his career who benefited from his experience and assistance in achieving their desired outcomes. 

In this podcast interview, Dr. Troy discusses ways organizations can create a healthy working environment through culture, vision, alignment, camaraderie, and healthy workplace cultures. Almost every company has a culture problem. One of the ways to avoid significant cultural challenges is hiring people who share the company’s values. Although culture evolves through time, you can set the groundwork and establish the parameters and expectations upfront. 

For Dr. Troy, one of the things that organizations should look at when hiring is behavior and conduct. Understanding the behavior of employees can help minimize cultural problems. If you allow individuals to be harmful in the work environment, then the root of the culture problem is you and not the environment itself. Therefore, it’s crucial to actively observe behaviors, training, support, and communication at your company.

Watch the full interview on YouTube.

 

Relevant links:

Website

LinkedIn

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Categories
Best Practices Growth Management Personal Development Technology Women In Business

Three Ways Turning On the Camera Will Turn Up Your Influence

Imagine sitting in a boardroom waiting for a meeting to begin when an attendee calls to say, “I don’t want you to see me today, so I’m going join the meeting from a phone in the hallway.”

This would NEVER happen, and yet every day we struggle to get attendees to show their faces on video calls.

Most of us miss the days when we could engage face-to-face with each other in the hallway, lunchroom, or meeting space, and yet, it seems like there is a reluctance to turn on our camera to see each other’s faces.

There are several reasons people don’t turn on their cameras. Perhaps they do not like seeing themselves on camera, their hair or makeup isn’t done, or their workspace is a mess.  I venture to guess the biggest reason is that attendees want to multi-task. Let’s face it, multitasking is a lot easier to do when you know you can’t be seen.

Either way, when you can’t see each other’s eyes, you can’t make the connection needed to be truly influential in every interaction.

To increase your influence, get your meeting attendees to give you their undivided attention by asking one of these three questions:

  1. “I’d love to see you today. Are you able to turn on your camera?”

This is a great question to ask coworkers, peers, and others you once could frequently see in person. It is hard for attendees to say ‘no’ to this request, and it will boost the friendly dialogue you once had working together in the office.

  1. “To ensure you receive the most from this meeting, would you please turn on your camera?”

This question is a great way to ask existing clients and employees to show their shining faces. Encouraging them to turn on their cameras will maximize engagement, helping everyone focus so details aren’t missed. It also helps you read reactions and evaluate how to move conversations forward.

  1. “Would you turn on your camera so I can more easily help you?”

Conversations with prospects can be challenging enough without having to stare at a blank screen. Let your prospects know you are excited to help them and seeing their face will help you do just that. This will maximize engagement and help you navigate the conversation more easily. If asking this question feels uncomfortable, set the expectation when initially schedule the meeting.

Virtual meetings are a part of our new normal and learning to maximize our influence in this new reality is critical to our success. Ask these three questions to get your listeners to turn on their cameras so you can turn up your influence.

Categories
Growth Personal Development

Accepting Change

Let’s face it, change can be hard and within change is the inherent fear factor- leaving what we have known and are comfortable with and not knowing what the future will bring. Of course, the more comfortable and content we are with our situation, the more difficult it can be to make the adjustment.

Yet even knowing that change in life is inevitable, it very often still fills us with a sense of grief. Losing a friend, job, or opportunity understandably fills us with tremendous sadness, as can a break-up, betrayal, or disappointment, but even seemingly happy occasions can be just as traumatic. Especially if they are situations that force us to move from one stage of life to another. Graduating from high school or college, leaving a job, or moving to a new location, birthdays, weddings and retirement can fill us with distress. Leaving what we’ve known, are used to, and are comfortable with, whether good or bad, can lead us to that overwhelming sense of loss and/or anxiety.

The crux of the anxiety associated with change comes from the fact that we feel that we are losing something. At times, we may even feel that we have no control. Shifting that paradigm will go a long way to making the process smoother and less painful and it really isn’t as hard as you may think.

Acceptance is key

 Although it’s perfectly natural to want to fight against the tide, cross our arms, dig our heels in to prevent change, it can be as impossible as preventing the change of seasons. Taking the time to fully understand your feelings and their complexity is an essential part of acceptance. As exciting as it may be to start something new, we may also be experiencing fear, nervousness, and anxiety about what we’re leaving behind. It helps to:

  1. Focus on the positives that the change will bring.
  2. Be patient with yourself- understand that it takes time to adjust to a new normal.
  3. Visualize specific benefits associated with the change, such as making new friends, navigating through unchartered territory, and discovering things about yourself.
  4. Get caught in the positive wave. This can help you see and focus on what you’re gaining versus what you’ve lost.

Practice gratitude

Being appreciative for what you’ve known and the joy it has given you goes a long way in moving on. Taking time to reflect on where the experience fits into the bigger picture is very helpful.

  1. Understanding that life is about growth and learning.
  2. Honoring what you have learned.
  3. Finding the gift in the change goes a long way in accepting what is.

It may take some effort, but it is possible to promote enthusiasm for what’s to come.

Sometimes, reflection and redefinition are called for

Very often when you’ve spent a long time doing something, such as child rearing, it’s difficult to envision doing anything else.  It is not unusual to experience emptiness and disconnection in such a situation. Many people feel lost and confused about who they are when their identity had been so strongly associated with a particular purpose in life. Now that our role is changing it is not uncommon to experience an identity crisis. Having to redefine ourselves can often cause us to experience grief as we mourn the person we used to be, but it can also be exciting to imagine who we are becoming.

  1. Be patient with yourself.
  2. Take the time to get reacquainted with yourself.
  3. Identify how you have changed- what were you like before this stage of your life?
  4. What do you yearn for now?

90% of the participants who participated in a recent survey that I conducted on betrayal said that they wanted to move forward, but that they didn’t know how. When you’re in the middle of a major life change, no matter what the change, it’s hard to imagine ever becoming your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual best. But it can happen. It just takes a commitment to do so. You are worth dedicating time to understand and take care of yourself and to transform into the best version of you, yet.

Dr. Debi
Founder and CEO, The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

Being Driven in the Workplace

Being Driven in the Workplace

What drives you in the workplace? A friend of mine told me about the advice he got when he first sought help to manage his out-of-control Type A Behavior. After filling out the usual forms, the doctor asked, “How may I help you?” My friend replied, “I don’t know where to begin.” The doctor wisely said, “Pull any loose thread—it’s all one knot.”

Aspects of Type A Behavior include a sense of urgency, impatience, competitiveness, and being easily upset. Of those four behaviors, two of them—impatience and upset—aren’t hard-wired, don’t serve you, and can easily be controlled.

You’ve heard many people talk about the “fight or flight response.” We are hard-wired to look for danger and threats. Anything that sets off an alarm in our lizard brain will trigger a physical reaction. And an emotional reaction, as well. We see the emotional reactions of people around us all the time. We probably notice our own emotional reactions, as well. Even if we don’t like to admit it.

There is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. It is all part of being human. But the people we most admire have the ability to manage the emotions and physical sensations at the moment.

Top Athletes Know-How 

One of our pleasures in Mastery Under Pressure is working with top athletes. We love helping them defeat their hardest opponent: Themselves. We often see top athletes sabotage themselves with their own thoughts and doubts. But the very elite performers have one indispensable skill: They have learned how to let it go. 

Do world-class athletes lose their tempers? All the time. In every sport. Whether it’s a tennis racquet smashed on the net or a baseball bat was thrown in disgust, we have all witnessed the best players lose their cool. But by the next point or their next at-bat, it’s as if it never happened. The best performers learn how to let it go in the moment.

Take Back Control at the Workplace

Being driven in the workplace doesn’t mean you have to let your Type A tendencies take control. Learn from the pros: Are you confused, upset, distressed, annoyed, or any of a hundred different emotions? Is work feeling more stressful these days? Tune into your body. What are you feeling and where are you feeling it? 

Is there a knot in your stomach? Do not avoid the sensation. Focus on it. What does that knot look like? Where is it located? Is it deep in your gut—or closer to your heart? Can you breathe into it? Take a deep breath and picture the air you inhale going right to the knot. Notice the knot loosen. And notice your mind calm down as well. If you start to tune into your own body, you will change the way you think and feel.

 

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