“5 Big Mistakes Bad Negotiators Absolutely Make When They Negotiate”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Do you consider yourself a good or bad negotiator, or somewhere in between? What separates good and bad negotiators during negotiations is their questions, thought processes, and how they control their discussions. And throughout the negotiation proceedings, there are five big mistakes bad negotiators make that rob them of more significant negotiation outcomes.
The following are five egregious mistakes bad negotiators make and how you can avoid them to enhance your negotiation outcomes.
In The Hero Club, we like to celebrate the successes of all our leaders. We all experienced the disruption COVID brought upon our businesses and lives, but there were plenty of success stories that can be highlighted despite a very difficult time for many.
Evan and Rachel Dash, a husband-and-wife team, are one of those success stories.
Their company, StoreBound, is well on their way to become a household name, and there’s a good chance you’ve seen or might own some of their small appliances. You can find Dash products everywhere, from department stores to big-box retailers, Amazon, even grocery stores. Evan and Rachel built an idea into a multi-million-dollar business. Within the last year, Dash sold a majority interest to Groupe SEB, a French company behind well-known brands such as T-Fal, Krups, Rowenta, and more.
“(Groupe SEB) approached us and said, ‘we absolutely love what you’re doing. We appear to be doing the same things, but we’re doing it in the opposite way. We love what you’re doing with digital marketing. We could bring you resources,’” Evan said during a recent C-Suite Network Digital Discussion Leadership Series event.
To fully grasp the magnitude of their success, it’s critical to bring some perspective into StoreBound’s origin story.
“Unbelievable Business School Education”
Evan enjoyed a successful career in retail, working for several big name brands like Lord & Taylor, Linens N Things, and most recently, Macy’s.
“I spent most of my working life in corporate America, and when you work in corporate America, there’s not a lot that you really have to be concerned about,” he said. “You do your kind of corporate politics, and you impress the right people, and your career tends to go pretty well.”
Even with all this success, Evan admits he had some entrepreneurial impulses but wasn’t much of a risk-taker himself.
“I didn’t feel like department store retailing was moving in the right direction, but I kept getting promotions and these incredible opportunities to learn,” Evan recalled. “I got the most unbelievable business school education on somebody else’s dime, with no risk, getting overpaid.”
Part of that on-the-job business school education included building a network and knowledge base that he didn’t realize the value of all that information until he went to a product trade show.
It was there where Evan decided to turn his badge, so people didn’t know who he was working for, and went to see the new vendors. There he found a mother and daughter with a new, interesting product and struck up a conversation.
The duo told Evan a large retailer had just visited their booth and promised to order 10,000 units. When Evan asked how they would finance the production of an order, the mother said she was ready to take out a second mortgage.
“I just had this epiphany that these poor ladies are not going to get paid. They don’t realize what they’re getting into. The company is going to hold back payment to make sure that everything sells. Whatever doesn’t sell is going to get sent back. They could wind up losing everything,” Evan recalls. “I realized at that point that the average person has no idea, the perils of working with big retailers.”
On the other side of the equation, Evan realized companies on the supply side had no idea the pressures he was under as a retail buyer.
He saw the opportunity. While he and his wife Rachel (who also worked as a retail buyer) didn’t know what kind of product their company would sell, there was an end goal in their mind.
“We just wanted to win hearts,” Evan said. “We knew that started with winning the hearts of the team that we hope to eventually build. Winning the hearts of our retail customers and then winning the hearts of the end consumer. If we were ever fortunate enough to get that far along, where we had actual consumers buying our products.”
Creating an “Entrance Strategy”
As Dash went from idea to reality, Evan and Rachel found a few surprises waiting for them.
“When we first started the business, everybody I knew in the financial community said, ‘Oh, you live right down on Wall Street. Write up a business plan. Take it around. People will be throwing money at you,’” Evan said. “We did exactly that. We wrote up an amazing business plan, and we went to several private equity companies. We would walk in the first question they would ask is ‘What’s your exit strategy?’ We were like, ‘Exit strategy? We’re working on an entrance strategy!’”
At that point, Evan admits he hadn’t built anything of value yet.
His team put their heads down, crunched the numbers, and came up with a way to bootstrap the company without having to dilute equity. However, they did revisit their finances after hitting certain milestones. While the business grew, they went on what Evan called “a four-year search” to find the right partner, backing out of several potential deals along the way.
Then Groupe SEB called.
“We spent the better part of around a year and a half really getting to know them, traveling to France, having them come to the U.S.,” Evan said. “The more that we spend time together, and the more that we talked about potential problems on the horizon, the more we realize that our values were so in sync. I remember this one day, I got their first annual report, and they had 75 pages that were dedicated to corporate social responsibility, and that just blew me away, to look at the leadership position they were taking in sustainability and employee rights and engagement.”
Building Value with Values
Aligning Dash with a company with values was important to Rachel and Evan. From day one, Dash wasn’t only selling small appliances. It was something more.
It was all about the people, not only the employees but the outside stakeholders as well.
“We wanted people who are truly caring. We look for that caring gene and the DNA,” Evan said. “You cannot teach somebody to care. We want to know when we’re interviewing with them. We really get into it. Do you care about your neighbors? Do you care about your home? Do you care about your family? Do you care about yourself? What things prove it?”
“Because when you find somebody who truly cares, they bring such a passion to the workplace. They’re self-starters. They don’t have to be pushed to do what the right things are. We look for people whose moral compass is in the right place, and we feel if they’re reasonably intelligent, we can teach them how to do the job. And we can teach them how to do the job with excellence, but we can’t teach them those core, fundamental values that have to be innate inside them.”
The ‘X’ Factor
Every business has a secret ingredient in their recipe for success. For the Dashes, that’s community. As part of The Hero Club community comprised of CEOs, founders and investors who pledge to lead with integrity, transparency, and create an impact within the communities they serve.
“(The Hero Club) has been absolutely wonderful. I got to know Tricia (Benn) and Jeffrey (Hayzlett) very well initially when Rachel and I were deciding on whether or not we wanted that to be part of a networking group,” Evan said. “The fact of the matter is, we were on the right track in our business. We didn’t really do it for trying to grow our own business. We did it to create space for ourselves.”
Evan said The Hero Club offers an unrivaled community; business leaders can’t find elsewhere.
“(The Hero Club) been a wonderful opportunity to create that space to think, and that’s been harder and harder to do as the business has grown and we found that (The) Hero Club has just been the most wonderful people and every time you will disappear for a month because we’re busy with things and the schedule doesn’t conflict or scheduled doesn’t work out, and we come back, and it’s like just regrouping with old friends, and it’s just been a wonderful experience,”
I’d like to thank Evan for the insightful conversation. If you’re interested in learning more about joining the C-Suite Network and participating in events like the Digital Discussion Leadership Series, consider becoming part of this community of leaders. For less than the cost of a business lunch a month, we provide you with networking opportunities and content to make you the most strategic person in any room. Click here to learn more.
“A good magician uses trap doors to disappear things. A good negotiator uses them to disappear the opponent’s opportunities.” – Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert (Click to Tweet)Click here to get the book!
“Avoid 7 Trap Doors – Ultimate Advice On How To Win More Negotiations”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Everyone is vulnerable to falling prey to negotiation traps at some point in negotiations. Even when some negotiators are aware of the potential danger in negotiation traps, some do not recognize the signs. Thus, they know not how to avoid the traps that lead to entrapment in negotiations.
What follows are seven traps to avoid in your negotiations. Not heeding the following insights will make the number 7 unlucky for you in your talks.
“Muddy Waters – Advice On How To Actually Win Negotiations Faster”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Are you a damn imbecile? Do you actually want to win negotiations? The organization’s president, whose team was engaged in a negotiation that would determine the company’s fate, asked his lead negotiator those questions. The president was fuming! And rightfully so, a lot was riding on the outcome of the negotiation. And the lead negotiator had allowed his team to be demeaned, outmaneuvered, and bullied by the opposition.
When was the last time you were either demeaned, outmaneuvered, or bullied during negotiations? I ask because one of those three aspects has occurred to everyone when negotiating at some point in their life.
But after you use the following information in your negotiations, you will be armed with insights that will allow you to win more of your bargaining sessions.
Top-performing CEOs know that strong communication skills are the secret to lasting influence and success. They exhibit these skills consistently each day, and in every interaction, Monday to Monday.
Successful CEOs understand that influence is required if they are to inspire people to willingly act upon what they have to say.
Highly influential CEOs deliver on these five communication skills daily:
Brevity
Successful CEOs understand the importance of clear, concise communication. They recognize that in the absence of simplicity comes confusion and chaos.
For example, on John Flannery’s first day as CEO of GE, he sent an email to his employees listing only three objectives he wished for the company to focus on: “Customers, team and execution/accountability.” Instead of providing a dozen areas of opportunity, he maintained a short list of objectives that were clear. He kept employee goals concise, guiding them to focus exclusively on the customer.
It’s as simple as that.
When CEOs focus on concise and clear communication, they make it easier for others to follow. This level of influence ensures that others remember what was said and are inspired to act accordingly.
Collaboration
CEOs are known for their sharp minds, decisiveness and business acumen. Top-performing CEOs understand that if their organization is to reach the level of Fortune 500 companies, they must get their entire organization to think the same way.
According to SHRM‘s 2016 Job Satisfaction and Engagement Survey, 48% of employees considered frequent communication between employees and senior leadership to be very important in their ability to stay engaged.
Larry Page of Alphabet, a parent company of Google, hosts frequent employee conference calls called TGIF (Thank God It’s Friday) to discuss ongoing company objectives and action items. They begin each call by sharing status updates of previous discussions, including what the executive staff is doing to secure the company’s future. Each call concludes with a 30-minute open-question forum, where all employees have the chance to ask questions and collaborate on ideas the executives discussed.
Allowing employees to collaborate and share ideas creates a sense of ownership. It permits insight into the company’s goals and encourages employees to engage in its success with ideas of their own.
Approachability
The title of CEO carries a lot of weight and can create an atmosphere of intimidation. Title alone can discourage employees from approaching leadership to converse on matters that are critical to ongoing company operations.
By creating an atmosphere of approachability, CEOs encourage employees to share ideas, concerns, and feedback vital to company success. As a result, CEOs build stronger relationships and deepen trust in leadership.
For instance, Kenneth Lin, CEO of Credit Karma, wholeheartedly believes in the power of accessibility. He maintains an open-door policy and is known for frequently visiting employees on the floor, no matter the department or position. As a result, he builds personal relationships that foster trust and candidacy that only comes with real influence.
A CEO who has influence based solely on their title may intimidate employees to begrudgingly act on direction. A leader who influences others to act willingly has established the trust and credibility necessary for lasting success.
Transparency
Few things cost an executive trust and influence like a lack of transparency. When employees believe their CEO is hiding information or failing to act openly, they begin to question decisions. Successful CEOs recognize that transparency is critical for employees to see the work behind the scenes and understand the motives behind decisions.
In the above SHRM survey, 94% of employees indicated trust between employee and senior leaders was critical while only 62% actually trusted their organizational leadership.The act of transparency deepens trust and credibility in leadership. Not every conversation can be openly disclosed, but the results and outcomes of many can.
Unfortunately, too many leaders fail to share this level of detail with their staff, leading employees to question their intention.
Bridgewater Associates CEO Ray Dalio is known for recording meetings and making them available to employees. Dalio believes that transparency is necessary for exposing truths and intentions behind decisions. He also recognizes that recording playbacks provide executives a way to identify communication weaknesses that need improvement.
Transformativeness
Successful CEOs aren’t born great — they learn through a series of mistakes and lessons and from mentors and opportunities. Influential CEOs are always learning and recognize that personal development is the key to continued professional success. Research says 68% of employees thrive on hearing their CEO’s success story and 73% desire to learn which obstacles their CEO has overcome.
Gary Ridge, CEO of WD-40, practices ongoing professional development and seeks opportunities to learn and improve. He fosters an organizational culture of learning as well by admitting to his own need for continued skills development. He openly shares his successes and failures, encouraging employees to focus on continual improvement. Ridge believes that leaders must focus on learning, teaching, and personal growth. As a result, the entire organization will benefit from improved performance and communication.
When leaders admit they aren’t perfect and are willing to improve, employees follow suit.
One of the best-known methods for writing a book that reaches your ideal audience is to imagine you are writing for one person who represents the audience you want to meet.
If you want to write a book that will help women entrepreneurs, you might envision a woman in her forties. She is divorced. Her two children are in college. She has recently downsized her living space. She’s reached a dead-end place in her corporate job. She has an idea/product/service that she wants to market.
Interview Her
Keeping this person in mind will help you focus on relevant material for your book. You can take this a step further.
Imagine that you’re this woman’s business coach. Think about the kinds of questions she might. These questions will vary, based on the particular focus of your book. Here are some samples:
Practical Questions
How do I get start-up financing?
What kind of legal entity should my business be?
Should I keep my current job and start the new business in my spare time?
Can I (do I have to) do it all on my own?
If I take on a partner, what do I need to consider?
Motivational Questions
How do I develop the will and stamina to persist?
What professional organizations should I join?
What can I do to keep my dream alive?
What are good sources for creative inspiration?
How do I keep my life in balance?
Fill in the Picture
Once you’ve completed the list of questions, write down your best answers. As you do so, imagine that you’re speaking directly with this woman. Listen for the additional questions your answers elicit. Write them down, too.
If you have chosen your questions well, this process will give you the foundation for a book.
As you write it, continue to keep your ideal reader in mind. Pause from time to time, and ask her, “Does that answer your question?” Don’t be surprised if she answers you. You may discover that you’re engaging in an ongoing dialogue with her.
You will need to have more material in your book. You will probably want to interview successful women entrepreneurs and include other success stories you’ve discovered in your research.
Here again, your ideal reader can help you. When you choose among stories, ask her, “Does this inspire you? Does it provide practical information?”
She will probably become real for you. You’ll miss her when you’ve finished your book. However, you will have your reward. Her counterparts will read your book and say to themselves, “How did this author know exactly what I needed to read?”
You’ll know why—and it would be a nice touch if you dedicate your book to her.
The links below will give you further insights into getting to know your ideal reader.
Pat Iyer is a book coach who works with authors to plan their books so that they are laser targeted on their ideal reader. Reach Pat through her website at http://patiyer.com.
You may be thinking “Why do I need a book proposal? I don’t plan to submit it to a publishing company. I’m publishing it independently.”
Book proposals serve a valuable purpose for authors, agents, and acquisitions editors at publishing houses. The author prepares a detailed summary of the book’s essence, provides a chapter outline and usually one to three sample chapters, describes his or her platform, i.e. authority, reputation, social media presence, and other elements, and summarizes his or her marketing plan. Authors often submit a book proposal to agents or editors prior to writing or completion of the book.
Most of the elements of a traditional book proposal can serve a different and equally important purpose for you as a future self-publishing author.
The Purpose of a Synopsis
A synopsis can help you plan what to put in your book. It gives you the opportunity to look at the big picture of what you intend to write.
Once you have your general concept in mind, you can make sure that someone else hasn’t already written a book that too closely mirrors what you intend.
Search on Amazon. If, for example, you want to write a book that demonstrates the value of women having prominence in the C-Suite, you might search for “women leaders management.” (By the way, this subject seems to be wide open for development.)
I recommend that you further research any titles you find, and if they look genuinely interesting, you can read samples and decide if they’re worth buying. In the course of your research, you may find your book idea has a unique slant on the subject. Learning that someone has said what you want to say may spur you to find a different original focus.
A Book Must Have a Structure
If you are thinking about writing a book, you may feel overwhelmed by the swirl of ideas in your mind. You can think of dozens of subjects that could go into your manuscript, but how do they all fit together? How do you narrow down your subject matter so that the reader isn’t as overwhelmed as you are at this moment?
Writing a proposal will help you to not only define but to organize your book. Its basic structure provides a format into which you can put your ideas into separate categories that will turn into chapters.
Briefly summarize what you want to include in each chapter, and put it aside. Come back a day or two later and read it carefully. How do the chapter topics flow? Would a different order make your points more fluidly?
At this stage of planning your book, you have the greatest flexibility. You can order and reorder, experimenting until you have a structure that will guide the reader to an understanding of what you want to say. Don’t stop until you’re satisfied that one chapter builds on the previous one in an organic way and that the conclusion ties it all together.
You Will Write Much More Easily
Writing a nonfiction book without a synopsis and chapter outline is like traveling in a foreign country without a map. You may find your way to your destination. You may also get very lost.
At worst, you will decide to abandon the journey.
The combined guidance of a synopsis and chapter outline will save you from the question: “What do I write next?” You know what your next subject will be, and that writing goes much more smoothly.
By doing the advance work, you greatly increase your chances of realizing your dream of having a published book.
You can find much information about how to write a book proposal on the Internet. Here are two starter sites. Both of them are written with an agent or editor in mind, but the basics of the actual writing apply to writing a book proposal for any purpose.
Hello, all you fans out there. Kak Varley here with another kTip.
I wanted to talk about why there is no silver bullet in marketing. You see it all the time in ads. They’re going to make you a million dollars tomorrow, from what I understand, and there’s always a new tool. There are a ton of tools in the digital marketing space that tells you that they’re going to get the job done, they’re going to make you money or make your job easier. And it is true. There are plenty of them and they do a great job. They do what they say they’re going to do in terms of functionality. But here’s the first thing I ask my clients when they come across a new tool, do you know how to use it? Do you know how to use it? Do you know how to set it up? That’s the question. The second question I always ask is, what kind of marketing principles are you going to apply to this tool to make it provide results? Because the tool itself isn’t going to do what you want it to do in terms of goals. It’s the marketing principles that you apply that will have an effect.
If you have any questions, please contact me at KakVarley.com. I’m going to keep on doing these tips, but I don’t do them on a regular basis, I do them in batches. If you want to know when the next one’s coming out, please hit the subscribe button over here. I’d like to keep on providing you with this kind of help.
It’s normal — and even healthy — to treat children differently. After all, they’re each their own individual person with unique needs. But how can you honor their individuality without making it seem like you’re playing favorites?
The Dos and Dont’s: When You Should Treat Your Kids Differently — and When You Shouldn’t
As a mother myself, I know that YOU know you’re not actually playing favorites. Many factors contribute to our daily interactions with our kids: their personality, age, maturity level, even their birth order!
Consider the experience of a first-born child. They’re brought into the world by parents who look at them like deer in headlights — completely inexperienced when it comes to raising a baby. This child may recall being the center of attention, with Mom and Dad anxiously monitoring their every move.
The second-born child, on the other hand, will probably have a different experience — in large part because their parents feel more confident and at ease the second time around.
The truth is, no two children experience the same family in the same way.And no parent experiences each child the same way either! Each kid is unique — and their individuality is precisely why we can’t treat them the same way all the time.
When considering your kids’ individual needs, DO treat them differently according to:
Personality. You can’t expect an introverted child to have the same hobbies or activities as an extroverted child. Encourage your kid to identify what interests them and be supportive of what they choose — whether it’s sports, ballet, drama, painting, or even reading quietly by themselves.
Tailor your approach even when prodding your children to make friends. An introverted child may be more comfortable with a one-on-one playdate, while an extroverted child might enjoy group activities.
Age. It’s normal for a younger child to complain when their older sibling is allowed to do something they’re not. But as the parent, it’s important to stand your ground about what’s developmentally appropriate for each kid.
Be firm but empathetic about why, as a 7-year-old, your kid can’t drink coffee or go to the mall on their own. Acknowledge their frustration and let them know you understand their disappointment. That acknowledgement will help them release the negative emotion and let the issue go.
Special needs. If your kid has a learning condition, allergies, or any type of special needs, by all means cater to them. Encourage their siblings to practice being considerate and supportive of each other’s special needs, too. If one child is allergic to nuts, for example, ask your other children to be selective about the food they share at home and have alternative food options their sibling can eat.
That said, don’t forget to give time and attention to the kid who doesn’t have special needs. Some children are so good at being the “strong, supportive sibling” that they don’t know how to ask for help from their parents when they need it. So be proactive about checking in with them!
Maturity level. Not all kids have the same level of maturity at ages 5, 10, 15. Some children are more mature than others, and should be treated accordingly to nurture their autonomy and independence. Still, navigating these considerations can be difficult for parents, as I learned firsthand.
When my daughter Pia was in 6th grade and we were living in Hong Kong, I left for an extended work trip. Upon my return, I found out that Pia had started taking taxis on her own. My husband was comfortable with this milestone, but boy was I unprepared!
We ended up resolving this conflict through effective communication. The truth of the matter was that Pia was ready and responsible for that level of independence. Luckily, my daughter understood that it was me who had a problem with fear, worry, and letting go. She supported my needs and came to a compromise by agreeing to text me her whereabouts whenever she took a taxi on her own.
When considering your kids’ individual needs, DON’T treat them differently when it comes to:
Implementing value systems. Your expectations for behavior and responsibilities should be consistent among all your children. Let your kids know that everyone is expected to be kind, considerate, and helpful — inside and outside the house. No exceptions.
Showing appreciation. Whether you’re attending your daughter’s field hockey game or your son’s piano recital, be their biggest cheerleader. Show them you’re proud of who they are and how they choose to express themselves.
Spending quality time. It’s important to spend quality bonding time alone with each child. Schedule a “Mommy/Daddy and Me” time at least once a month with your kids — and hold that time sacred and immovable.
Treating your kids differently doesn’t mean you’re playing favorites. It means you respect your children as individuals with varied needs and desires.
Explain to your kids why they require different treatment from you at times. But let them know that when it comes to the question of who your favorite is, the answer is “no one” — because you love them equally.
“Astonishing Advice About The 7 Body Language Micro-Expression Signs That Announce Negotiation Danger”
People don’t realize they’re always negotiating.
Danger lurked in the negotiation. But nobody knew its signs.
Did you see that, asked the first negotiator? See what asked the second negotiator? The body language signs displayed throughout the negotiation by the opposing negotiators indicated danger. Their gestures became more hostile as the talks progressed, replied the first negotiator. She continued by saying, we should have paid more attention to their body language signs. Had we done so, we might have avoided the negotiation impasse.
When was the last time you were stuck in a negotiation and wondered how you missed the body language signs indicating pending danger? Accurately reading body language can help you avoid such perils. Plus, it gives you an advantage during negotiations.
There are seven body language signals you can use to assist in helping you avoid tumultuous outcomes. The following body language gestures are known as micro-expressions. They encapsulate the displayer’s emotional state of mind at that moment in time. And micro-expressions last for less than a second. Thus, the person’s brain does not control the display before he makes it.
What follows is advice about how to recognize the seven body language signs that announce danger in a negotiation. Once you become armed with this information and implement its insights, you should be better prepared to alter the flow of a negotiation headed for danger.