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Month: August 2017

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Marketing Skills Women In Business

Know When to STOP Talking

Know When to STOP Talking

Usually I work with people to find the best way for them to talk to their audience and get to “Yes.” Today I want to focus on the exact opposite skill set: knowing when and how to stop talking.

If you’re like me, at some point or other you’ve had the “out-of-body experience” where you catch yourself rambling on, and your brain starts screaming, “for heaven’s sake, just stop talking already!” But you’re on a roll and can’t seem to stop the momentum.

Part of the reason this happens is because Americans are notoriously uncomfortable with silence, which quickly slides becomes “awkward silence,” is something to be avoided. That’s why there’s often a compulsion to fill silence at all costs.

In most of these occurrences, self-doubt is a major factor. Even if you were confident up to that point, something triggers a sudden insecurity, which you telegraph through your rambling.

With that in mind, let’s look at three contexts in which this situation is likely to emerge, why, and how to get yourself back under control.

Waiting for a response

The most common scenario is when you’ve asked a question or made a comment, and the other person doesn’t respond right away. You subconsciously fear that they didn’t understand what you’ve said, or didn’t like it and don’t want to answer it. So you rephrase, or qualify, or suggest possible answers to your own question, until someone finally jumps in.

In reality, sometimes people just need a moment to digest what you’ve said, especially if it is technical or an important decision. Be generous in allowing them time to think, uninterrupted, before they respond.

Over-explaining

The second context is when you think you need to keep explaining something. Maybe your topic is complicated and you are speaking to non-experts or you might be speaking to people who are experts, which can be intimidating, so you feel compelled to share more to demonstrate your expertise. Or you might interpret their silence as disapproval, at which point you keep talking in attempt to qualify or justify your argument and persuade them to agree with you.

Ironically, however, in these situations, the more you ramble, the more it will likely dissuade your audience because you sound nervous rather than confident. In these cases, make your point, then just hold your ground – and your tongue. This indicates that you’re okay with waiting for them to break the silence. If necessary, you can always ask them if they are confused by something, or would like clarification. Knowing when to stop demonstrates confidence.

Scrambling for answers

Finally, rambling often occurs when you need to answer a question or offer a response, and don’t feel like you have time to think it through before you are expected to speak. The pressure is on, and the silence seems interminable as all eyes are on you. But rather than thinking aloud you as you try to figure out what you really want to say, try starting with something like, “That’s a great question; let me think about the best way to answer it concisely.” Who would deny that request, especially if the alternative is a rambling mess?

Here’s a final tip: Write a note to remind yourself to avoid these pitfalls, and look at it before you go into the next high stakes meeting. If you wait until you catch yourself rambling, it’s too late. Priming yourself with these reminders before you start is one of the best ways to project persuasive confidence and leadership.

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!

 

 

Categories
Growth Human Resources Management Personal Development

Why Bullying and Employee Engagement Don’t Mix

Bullying and Employee Engagement

Bullying and employee engagement don’t mix.  Bullying is one person intimidating or threatening another in a disrespectful, dominating, or cruel manner.   Bullies tend to put performance results ahead of all other considerations including respect and trust.  Bullies think about themselves and not about others.  Aggressiveness is action without regard to others.  It’s an “I win and you lose” strategy.   Assertiveness is action with a “win-win” strategy.  Employee engagement can only grow in a culture that discourages and prevents bullying while encouraging collaboration, respect, and effective relationships with win-win communications.

According to The Workplace Bullying Institute, 27% of American workers have suffered abusive conduct at work; another 21% witnessed bullying; and 72% are aware that workplace bullying happens.  It also tells us that less than 20% of employers act to stop bullying. (Gary Namie, 2014)

Bullying is a symptom.   Causes of bullying are a complex set of factors.  The first set of factors relate to the psychological needs and flaws of the bully.  According to author Susan Coloraso bullies tend to have specific attitudes and behaviors including blaming others for situations.  They lack the willingness to take responsibility for their actions or their miserable situations.  They lack emotional intelligence traits such as the ability to sincerely understand how others might feel and the ability to express empathy.  They tend to be narcissistic focusing all their concern about themselves and not about others.

Bullies also believe competition is an important strategy for success.  They have difficulty with collaboration because they feel superior and others are seen in an inferior position.  For them, aggression is the way to success.

Women and men can both be bullies, although men have a higher tendency toward physical abuse and women use more psychological abuse such as passive aggressive manipulations.

The second set of factors causing bullying is the lack of an effective response from the workplace system.  Dr. W. Edwards Deming said 94% of all results come from the system.  Bullies are mostly allowed to continue without feedback and/or consequences for their poor behaviors.  Although the root causes of bullying stems from the experiences, and probably the parenting, of the bully, it’s the responses (or lack of) of the system that keeps the behaviors alive.

Organizations that are unprepared and/or unwilling to create consequences for bullying behaviors will be victimized. Unfortunately some leaders give “lip service” to a set of organizational values that discourage bullying behaviors.  Instead of confronting the poor behaviors immediately and consistently, leaders can instead ignore (or downplay) the behaviors and place more value on the results bullies are able to achieve.  The results outweigh the desired motivation and willingness of the leaders to have a confrontation.

We teach what we allow.  Bullies learn their behaviors.  They are not born as bullies.  They were probably allowed by their parents, or even encouraged with subtle messages, to continue their tactics. The only way to change is to stop the subtle messages and confront the poor behaviors directly and respectfully with consequences important to the bully.

Besides respectful confrontation organizations should also evaluate the hiring process to ensure bullies are not allowed to slip through the “hiring cracks.”

A system of effective Fearless Feedback will go a long way toward reducing the probability of bullying.  This must start with the senior leadership. Senior leaders must make it clear that results with bullying are unacceptable even if the results are financially profitable.  Leaders must take a stand.  Financial results achieved with bullying tactics must be evaluated in the context of the cost to employee engagement.  The costs associated with low employee engagement levels are much more difficult (if not impossible) to measure than financial results.  The bullying will either stop or be significantly reduced if the system is set up to provide respectful and immediate feedback to bullies and if they are given the choice to either change their behaviors or move on.

Bullying and employee engagement don’t mix.  Senior leaders must decide if results from employee engagement are more valuable than short-term results with bullying.  If senior leaders pay lip service to respect and win-win solutions but then avoid respectful consequences for bullying, things won’t change and employee engagement will suffer.

Wally Hauck, PhD has a cure for the “deadly disease” known as the typical performance appraisal.  Wally holds a doctorate in organizational leadership from Warren National University, a Master of Business Administration in finance from Iona College, and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from the University of Pennsylvania.   Wally is a Certified Speaking Professional or CSP.  Wally has a passion for helping leaders let go of the old and embrace new thinking to improve leadership skills, employee engagement, and performance.

Fearless Feedback

 

Categories
Growth Management Personal Development

Effective Strategies for Hiring Top Millennial Employees

“Our research — which provides an in-depth look at what defines Millennials as employees, people, and consumers — both confirms and casts aside some of the myths about this particular generation . . . on the job-hopping question, we found that 21% of Millennial workers had left their job in the last year to do something else, a number that is more than three times higher than that of non-Millennials who report doing the same.”  Source: “What Millennials Want from a New Job,” Brandon Rigoni and Amy Adkins, Harvard Business Review, May 11, 2016

Generalizations tend to be . . . well, general. But the fact remains that most millennials don’t want to work for just any company – and if they land a job in a company that they don’t like, they won’t stay around long.

One reason is that they hope to contribute their efforts and hours to a company that stands for something beyond making sales and making money. They want to share in the vision of a company and if they join yours, they expect that working for you will be in some way important.

As a result, the hiring paradigms have changed. In the old way of hiring, job applicants sold themselves to companies. Today, the company is being interviewed too, and needs to sell itself. When recruiting millennials, hiring companies need to bear in mind that there are certain important attributes that millennials are looking for – an exciting environment, a clear and understandable path to advancement, a chance to exercise personal autonomy while still being part of a stimulating team, and more.

How can your organization recruit and hire top millennial employees, and then make sure they keep working for you for the long term? I would like to recommend these strategies which I have used successfully.

Create a Personal Career Plan for Every Millennial Applicant and New Hire

In the past, baby boomers have been comfortable with the idea that they could discover the of how to build careers after they were hired. I have observed that millennials want to know the game plan and the rules before they come on board.

I have succeeded in recruiting strong millennials by creating personalized career plans for them, which should be discussed during the interviewing and hiring phase. The focus should be on questions of what your company expects from successful workers and what positions lie ahead. Individual career development plans are big differentiators in convincing millennials to take your job.

Please note that this advice does not pertain to everyone you’re hiring, only to employees who want and advance and remain with your company for the long term. You needn’t create a personalized development plan for short-term summer employees, for example, or for elder employees who are only looking for part-time jobs during their retirement years.

Stress Autonomy, Creativity and Entrepreneurship

In general, millennials like to express themselves through their jobs – not to be “cogs in a machine.” They like to make decisions, create and implement plans, and make personal, recognizable contributions to the companies where they work. Stressing that creativity is part of the job can go a long way toward differentiating your company from others that are hiring.

Reduce the Unknowns

Millennials like to have specifics spelled out. Even though they have earned a reputation for being “loosey-goosey” and casual, most of them are not. The more specific and concrete you get in setting out expectations, the more they will want to come on board. If they will have regular weekly check-ins with their supervisors instead of quarterly reviews, for example, talk about that. Talk about benefits, about required travel, about reporting lines – and all the details that apply. The more you explain and reveal, the more honest and desirable your company becomes.

Introduce Job Applicants to Future Supervisors and Team Members

It is again a generalization, but being part of an energized team is often more important to millennials than it is to Boomers or members of other age groups. For many millennials, teamwork really counts – even though they want to be strong, recognized individuals. The operative strategy is to have your company interviewers introduce desirable applicants to their potential managers and team members – preferably in the actual location where the applicant will work. The more millennials feel that your job is an invitation to join a stimulating team, the more likely they will be to take your job offer above others.

Test and Screen for the Right Abilities, Aptitudes and Attitudes

Why is it especially important to consider job fit when hiring millennials? One obvious reason is that good fit helps assure that the millennials will perform well in their new jobs. That’s a given. But there’s a subtler reason too, which is that millennials are generally less likely to stay in jobs that they find frustrating, overly difficult to perform, or repetitive and dull. With greater speed than Boomers, millennials will quit and move quickly to other jobs.

That is not because millennials lack company loyalty or are “job hoppers.” It is because they want to enjoy a sense of progress and accomplishment in their work. And remember that if they leave you, you incur the costs of recruiting and training new workers.

Offer Excellent Training

For boomers who are considering job offers, the promise of excellent training can be a big determining factor that convinces them to choose your company. It is a generalization again, but many millennials like the idea that they will be able to perform their jobs capably from day one instead of learning by trial and error.

 

About Evan Hackel

Evan Hackel, the creator of the concept of Ingaged Leadership, is a recognized business and franchise expert and consultant. Evan is also a professional speaker and author.  Evan is Principal and Founder of Ingage Consulting, a consulting firm headquartered in Woburn, Massachusetts. A leader in the field of training as well, Evan serves as CEO of Tortal Training, a Charlotte North Carolina-based firm that specializes in developing and implementing interactive training solutions for companies in all sectors. To learn more about Inage Consulting and Evan’s book Ingaging Leadership, visit Ingage.net

Categories
Entrepreneurship Personal Development Women In Business

People Leaving Their Corporate Positions is Increasing: They’re Running Out the Door

People Leaving Their Corporate Positions is Increasing: They’re Running Out the Door

During the past few years, more and more people have been leaving their corporate positions. They’re not walking, they are running out the door. Recent studies have suggested that there has been an increasing number of men and women quitting their jobs, regardless of the dips the economy has taken in recent years. It is apparent that this growing rate of people leaving the corporate world has very little to do with money. An astounding 74 percent of people stated that they were looking to leave their current corporate positions.

People in corporate positions are reporting that they feel unhappy, unappreciated, and unnoticed at work. People are also stating that internal politics and disrespectful bosses are having a negative impact on their lives, and no longer wish to continue working for an unethical corporation. Negative work conditions and poor leadership seem to be pushing people to start their own companies. They want to be in a position where they have the power to create healthier work conditions, and maintain happiness in the work place.

Making the decision to leave your current corporate position and become an entrepreneur can be nerve racking. Especially if you have been in the corporate world for the majority of your career. You are leaving something that is comfortable and secure to pursue your own dreams, which can sometime be unpredictable. This is why it’s important to have an exit plan. This will help you avoid leaving your current job in an abrupt way that will leave you broke and overwhelmed.

When you devise a strategy to leave your current career path, it can help you make your transition a bit smoother. If you are in a position where you have made investments that are tied to your current company, you may have to be a little more strategic when making your plans. Take your time when planning your strategy. Remember, the whole point of having an exit strategy is so you have a clear game plan. If you rush into it without being clear on every aspect of your strategy, you will most likely find yourself in a risky situation.

Have an Unstoppable Day,

Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post, want to know how to apply them, or how to help others with them? If so, contact me at connie@pheiffgroup.com or CLICK HERE to schedule a 20-minute discovery call to discuss with you personally.

 

 

 

Categories
Marketing Personal Development

Do You Trust Your Marketing Metrics or Your Gut?

I have spent some quality time with a new client who is struggling with getting the C-Suite to recognize the value of marketing. Yes, it’s an old-line B2B company–how did you guess? They have a lot of data describing the success of marketing, but the C-Suite at their company would rather ascribe that to superior product or their go-getter sales team.

So, they asked us to do a competitive assessment of how much companies like them are spending on marketing. We found various studies and gleaned data from annual reports and we believe that the average is about eight percent of revenue spent on marketing. This client was spending less than a tenth of that. And we found many studies showing that higher marketing spending is correlated to higher revenue. Does that mean that it causes higher revenue? We can’t prove that, but maybe it is the way to bet.

Still, they weren’t sure that the C-Suite was going to accept the number. Did we compare apples to apples? Couldn’t their situation be different? Were some of those companies a lot bigger? We tried to explain that these were reasonable questions that might explain a 35% or 30% difference, but not a 90% difference.

But they know those are the questions they are going to get, so they are trying to prepare for them. The reason that they will get those questions is that their C-Suite has a history of going with their gut rather than the numbers–at least when it comes to marketing. (That’s the only way that you end up here, frankly.) Now, a new day might be coming, because they did decide to do this study, which provides some hope.

But in the end, every C-Suite executive needs to ask themselves whether they are smarter than the data. Because no one can change your mind on something you are sure you already know. You have to at least be a bit curious. A bit doubting of your own opinion. A bit open to the possibility that the world has changed.

If you are, you can model being data driven for everyone else. You can model changing your mind in the face of new information. You can model getting it right instead of being right. Ask yourself if your team doesn’t think that mere data will change your mind, and then ask yourself if you want them to be right.

 

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

3 Self-Imposed Ceilings of High Achievers

3 Self Imposed Ceilings of High Achievers

Hot Roast Beef with Gravy??

During my senior year of high school, I never came off the football field. I was a receiver, cornerback, kick returner and punt returner.

I was one of the best-conditioned guys on the team, at least during the practices…

Because it was confounding when, for the 3rd consecutive game, my team had to call an injury time out because I was suffering massive calf cramps.

You know, the type where your foot is agonizingly stuck in the pointed position and the only relief is to literally grab and yank it back into place.

So, for the 3rd consecutive week, Trainer Bob had to race onto the field to tend to my suddenly delicate calves.

Perplexed, Trainer Bob says “this never happens to you during practice…not even during 3-a-days.”

“I know, this SUCKS.”

“What are you eating before the games?”

To which I reply, “a hot roast beef with gravy sub from the Italian Carousel.”

I’m dead serious.

Trainer Bob, genuinely one of the kindest and most-beloved high school staffers ever to walk the halls of Ramsey High School, simply responded

“Are you (bleeping) kidding me?!?”

 

Blind Spots = Self-Imposed Ceilings

I’m pretty sure this story illustrates how ignorant I was about nutrition.

I legitimately thought a hot roast beef with gravy sub would provide me the necessary protein to be a champion on game day.

Was I a first-class dumbass? Most certainly.

Was I also well-intentioned and just wildly misguided? Most certainly.

This isn’t a conversation about nutrition, as much as I’d love to have that conversation with you. Rather, I’m addressing a much broader context of challenges:

Your Blind Spots that create Self Imposed Ceilings.

As a high-performance coach to individuals and companies, I see so many well-intentioned yet wildly misguided behaviors that are routinely sidelining your ability to perform and expand at the speed with which you want.

 

Here are a few big ones:

  1. Feeling Guilty for Wanting More

“I feel like my husband will take it personally if I tell him I’m bored and unfulfilled with my life.”

“Everyone tells me I’ve done so well for myself. Maybe I should just be grateful for everything I already have instead of wanting more.”

“I’m responsible for so many other people’s wants and needs. I can’t just abandon them…but I’ve never got any time for me, and I can feel my resentment mounting.”

Guilt like this will keep you stuck in a state of drift for years, or a lifetime.

Guilt is nothing more than the “shoulds” and “supposed tos” that you’ve allowed someone else to force upon you. That’s their expectations and beliefs, not your own.
Operating from guilt and sensed-obligation is one of the lowest forms of energy you can come from. Your force will be diluted and the lack of authenticity will toxify everything you touch.

 

Plus, it’s impossible to design a future you can’t wait to live into when you’re carrying a guilt albatross around your neck.

 

  1. Mistaking Compulsion for Drive

As a high achiever, one of the top-shelf compliments you can receive is someone acknowledging you as “being driven.”

In my experience, however, it’s rarely drive that’s fueling your behavior…it’s often unintentional compulsion.

Unintentional compulsion is the unconscious need to keep pushing, performing and achieving…without the ability to identify why or for what you’re doing it all for.

It’s like you’re being commanded to do something, not of your own free will.

Drive, on the other hand, is the conscious intentional choice to do something when you know precisely why it matters in the context of your life.

Drive is purpose based.

Compulsion is fear based.

Here’s how you can tell the difference:

If your wins are fleeting, and your losses are extra painful, you’re operating from compulsion.
If your wins are deeply satisfying and your losses are welcomed catalysts for growth, you’re driven.

 

  1. Your Language Does Not Equal Their Language

When I was at NYU for my MBA, my marketing professor had our class play the following game:

Write down a percentage that corresponds with these words:

  • Always
  • Sometimes
  • Never

For example, if John were to say he “always” did something, how often – in terms of a percentage – did he do it?

Our class of 50 people had astonishingly different answers.

The range for “always” was 5% to 100% of the time.

When I hear “always,” I take that to mean 100% of the time.

Reggie was the guy who said “always” meant 5% of the time. He explained that “No one ever does what they say they’re going to do.”

Can you imagine the communication breakdown between Reggie and someone who thought “always” means 100% of the time?

What if they were boss and employee?

Husband and wife?

Parent and child?

Could you imagine the potential implications of this language barrier as you extend it to entire organizations and ecosystems of people?

No wonder we all feel misunderstood.

As a coach and facilitator for diverse groups of people, I’m constantly double-clicking on people’s use of language so I can understand how they experience the words they use, and how they interpret the words used by their co-workers, spouses, children etc.

I have the same kind of Trainer-Bob-discovering-I’m-eating-hot-roast-beef-with-gravy-type-of-amazement when I unpack how much discrepancy there is between two people’s meanings for the same words.

If you rarely find yourself asking this question, “tell me what (fill in the blank with the word/phrase in question) means to you,” then I can guarantee you that you’re unconsciously creating communication conflicts.

And it’s keeping you stuck.

 

Awaken to Your Blind Spots

Here are 2 of my favorite information sources for to create Intentional Awakenings to your blind spots:

  1. Book: The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield
  2. Podcast: Impact Theory by Tom Bilyeu

My book, Design Your Future, also has a roadmap for avoiding the trappings above.

#TakeCommand

-DQ

PS – If you’re looking for a speaker to illuminate the Blind Spots and destroy the Self Imposed Ceilings in your business, here’s a list of my speaking topics.

 

 

Categories
Growth Management Personal Development

Disrupting the Status Quo – Part 2

In the first article in this series I outlined what the status quo is in general and three steps for disrupting it. If you have not read Part 1 yet you might want to start there

I also asked you to put down on paper some of the status quo’s for your organization that need disruption. So take out your list and follow along.

Remember from the last article that disrupting the status quo is essentially creating change and that change can be hard. Because change is hard for individuals, especially when we are talking about behavior change, the first step to disruption is to focus on one change at a time.

So how do you decide what needs to be disrupted first or what change is most needed?

You look at the list and decide which is one that will have the biggest impact overall. In other words is there one change that when implemented will cause change in other areas?

There are typically some issues that will get resolved by focusing on changes in other areas. Here is a simplified example – can customer satisfaction be improved if you focus on product delivery? Can product delivery be improved if you focus on team dynamics or safety? If these are true then focusing on team dynamics (let’s say that’s what you said could create the change to improving product delivery) would not only affect your product delivery, but would ultimately affect and improve your customer satisfaction.

The question you need to ask and get very clear on is what is the high level change you want? From there you can look at what the low level changes are that will push the high level change into being. And from that list you can find the one that will have the biggest impact and affect the most change.

Here is where many leaders get this wrong, the get together in a room with other executives and peers and try to figure out what the problem is they are trying to solve and all the low level changes needed. They don’t go to the source, where the information is best; they don’t go to their employees.

For solutions to have the greatest chance of solving the actual problem, you must turn to those closest to the problem, those who deal with it every day and most likely understand the root cause. If it’s an assembly problem the line worker who deals with that problem must be part of the solution, if it’s a software problem the developer who worked on the code must be part of the solution, and if it’s a customer service issue the call center representative or sales clerks must be part of the solution. You cannot solve problems you don’t know the root cause to and if you are not the one working in the area of the problem you really don’t know the root cause.

This means working with everyone in your organization (department or team) to really understand the problems, the ones that have the biggest impact and the ones where if solved the change will also affect the greatest number of people and have the greatest impact to the bottom line.

Once you have that clear picture on what needs your focus first you go to those closest to the problem and solicit their ideas. There are a ton of resources out there for you, consultants, specialists, coaches, books, articles, courses, etc. that address problem solving and decision making strategy and approaches. What I want you to take away from this is in order to start disrupting the status quo you need to have a clear picture of the problem you are trying to solve, you must work with those throughout your organization to identify what that is, you then must work with those closest to the problem on the solution, and most importantly you focus on one change at a time; the change that will have the biggest impact on your organization.

Stay tuned for the next article in this series and feel free to reach out with questions or comments to sharon@c-suiteresults.com or visit www.c-suiteresults.com for more resources. For a weekly podcast on success listen to C-Suite Success Radio available on iTunes or at http://csuitesuccessradio.libsyn.com/

 

 

Categories
Growth Leadership Personal Development

This Workplace Behavior Is Corrosive to Business

 

Are You a Slave to Optics? ​​​​​​​

I was talking to a Talented Non-Millennial Sales Guy who was sharing some “observations” about his Millennial support person.

“He’s awesome. Always gets his work done. But he thinks he deserves a promotion and I tell him…dude, you get into the office at 9:00am and leave by 5:00pm. How are you going to get promoted that way?”

I double-clicked, “Does this guy miss deadlines, fail to get his work done and make your performance suffer?”

Sales Guy responds, “well no…he’s awesome. But it’s the optics. When I was in his role, I got to the office at 7:00am. It just doesn’t look like he works very hard.”

 

Stepping in Your Own Bear Trap

Nearly every high performer I work with agrees on one thing: they’d like to be working less.

The 10-12 hour workdays over a 3, 4 or 5-decade career wear you down to a nub.

But then you go on perpetuating your own problem – like defending outdated, irrelevant “optics” about time logged – that keeps everyone, namely YOU, stuck in the same purgatory.

You’ve stepped in your own bear trap.

“Optics” really means:

“I prioritize my actions based not on what’s most important, useful or being true to myself, but on how you will perceive it.”

Said differently,

“Fear drives my behavior.”

When fear drives your behavior, you’re drifting.

Drifting extinguishes your fire and creates a malaise sandwich between two slices of resentment. 

When you drift day after day, month after month, year after year…

…death sentence.

 

Living by Optics = Opposite of Freedom

Acting in accordance with what’s most important, useful or living in your truth isn’t always “optically pleasing” to others and naturally invites unfriendly fire.

Case in point, the talented Millennial who works 8 productive hours and yet still takes crap for not slogging it out under the fluorescent sun gods just so others can approve of his physical whereabouts.

So when it comes to optics, you’re always forced to make a decision based on what you value more:

1.     Your freedom, or

2.     What people think of you

 

Break Free From Optics, Break Free From Drift

Going back to the Talented Non-Millennial Sales Guy, I asked him whether he liked his 12 hour days and inability to take a vacation without “checking in” on his work before his family wakes up (and after they go to bed).

He let out that resigned sigh which told me everything I need to know: It decimates his freedom and feeling of agency in every part of his life….yet he doesn’t see that it could possibly be any other way.

Talented Non-Millennial Sales Guy is not alone.

“Optics” drives an inordinate amount of behavior, particularly in the workplace.

Which means not just individuals, but teams, divisions and entire organizations are stuck in the hypnotic rhythm of drift.

And the long-term consequences are devastating.

But the good news is about all of this is: it’s 100% your choice to stay stuck in your bear trap or free yourself.

 

Final Thought: A Game To Play

Next time you feel like doing something that’s in accordance with what’s most important, useful or in alignment with your truth…but you DON’T do it…check in with precisely what the reason was that stopped you.

Play this game for a day, or better yet a week. A theme will emerge of where your greatest fears come from, and how they are keeping you stuck.

Once you’ve identified your #1 enemy, you’re one step closer to slaying that dragon.

Freedom awaits.

#TakeCommand

– DQ

PS – I help individuals, teams and organizations break free from drift, especially the BS of running a business driven by “optics.” If you feel your team or business is fueled by antiquated and corrosive optics, email me at Dominick@D to inquire about a dose of freedom serum.

Categories
Growth Skills

Overcoming Objections to Writing a Book

How to Defeat Your Objections to Writing Your Book

You’ve had writing a book on your to do list for years. People tell you that you’ve had an interesting path to the C Suite, and you should share what you’ve learned with others.

And yet… you are stalled.

It’s not that you don’t recognize the benefits of having a book, of helping others with your story, of adding to the business world’s knowledge with the lessons you’ve learned.  You just struggle with it, and probably for the same reasons many other people resist publication.

What are your excuses?

You can’t write. Although many people claim they cannot write, yet they prepare reports, articles, speeches, and all of that content can be reused. Are you still trapped in that small wooden high school seat intimidated by prepositions, dangling participles and misplaced modifiers?

I have good news for you. It is not necessary to know how to diagram a sentence. You do need an ear for good writing.

Or are you really saying you don’t like to write? Luckily, you have plenty of options for overcoming this particular hurdle. Hire a ghostwriter. If you can develop a set of questions to create a chapter, you can hire a person to interview you and use the transcribed conversation to create a chapter. The ghostwriter will turn that colloquial conversation into a smoothly written chapter. It takes skill to do the editing. As the author, you have the final say on what goes into the book.

You can also use software such as Dragon Naturally Speaking, or simply record using your favorite MP3 app and then have it transcribed. The transcript will still need to be edited; we are a lot more informal when we speak than when we write.

You don’t have time. Here’s a biggie. Everyone is busy. Yes, your job is demanding. But you can overcome that excuse by carving out time. I’ve been the sole author of 19 books. They all started one chapter at a time.

Rather than lamenting your lack of time, figure out when you can write. Do you need to go away for a weekend with your laptop? Will it work for you to get up earlier each day or stay up later? What do you need to give up (like TV or movies) in order to write? In my experience, the most important aspect is controlling your distractions. Turn off your phone and email and write. Set a timer and don’t allow yourself to be interrupted.

The point is, you must make this a priority. Block out the time in your calendar, and treat that time as sacred. Pretend it’s an appointment with your most important client, and do not allow anything to get in the way of keeping it.

Here’s another excuse: you can’t organize a long project like a book. Ok, so you’re great with blog posts, and you don’t mind writing them, but the thought of writing an entire book makes you stare at your blank screen like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.

First, if you can write an article, you can write an entire series of chapters. The process is all the same, after all. It’s just putting words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, and so on. It starts with an outline that you revise as you go along. You realize some material belongs in one spot instead of another. You chip away at your book, piece by piece.

There is no rule that you have to start at chapter 1 and move through the book in sequential fashion. My colleague and I started on Chapter 8 in the last book I ghostwrote. Start where you have the most material or the most familiarity with the subject matter. You’ll get a sense of accomplishment which will help you move through the project faster.

There are dozens of reasons to write a book. It’s important for strengthening your expertise and building your brand. But none of that will happen if you don’t actually write it. So it’s time to get beyond your hurdles and get your book done.

 

Pat Iyer is a ghostwriter and a C Suite Network Advisor. Visit her website at http://editingmybook.com for more information.

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Best Practices Entrepreneurship Human Resources Management Personal Development Women In Business

Do You Hold Yourself Back From Success?

Do you hold yourself back from success?

“Whenever I’m in a meeting and I think of a question or comment, I end up debating with myself about whether or not to say it… then a few minutes later someone else says what I’m thinking, and it leads to a great discussion. I could kick myself when that happens!”

This is a challenge described by many of my clients, both men and women alike, and it stems from a lack of confidence on a variety of levels. But regardless of the origin, the outcome is the same: you hold yourself back from being recognized for your insights, expertise and overall value to the team.

So what causes this behavior, and what can you do about it?

The late, great sales guru, Zig Ziglar, had a powerful expression that has stuck with me from the first time I heard it many years ago. He said that you have to ask yourself, “Is your fear of failure greater than your desire to succeed?”

The short answer is that, for people who typically hold back as described above, their default answer, often subconsciously, is a resounding “YES.” That’s why they hold back.

What is most powerful to me is the thought process you inevitably go through if you actually ask yourself that question when you find yourself holding back That’s because it actually leads to three deeper and more concrete questions that will help you regain confidence and hopefully compel you to take action:

The first is, how would you define “failure” in that situation, and what’s the worst thing that could happen if you did “fail”? Maybe it means you could make a mistake, share wrong information or demonstrate ignorance. And what would be the repercussions of one of those situations? I highly doubt that you could lose your job, take a major hit to your reputation, or die of embarrassment. The worst that would happen is that you might get corrected in public. You’ve heard others make contributions that were not received with open arms; what happened to them? Most likely, nothing

The second key question is, how would you define “success” in that context? Success could be simply a matter of knowing you made a valuable contribution to the discussion. Maybe your idea provides a critical piece that will help the group to problem-solve more efficiently. One way or another, you will show yourself to be a valuable, proactive member of a team, and it might put you on someone’s radar, for all the right reasons.

A third question that gets overlooked is, “What is the effect of silence on my part?” Remember, holding back judiciously from time to time is probably appreciated by most people. But when your reputation in those meetings becomes one of someone who is non-participatory, playing it “safe” and hiding in self-defense mode unless forced to speak, does that really project leadership?

And just in case you were thinking about playing the “introvert” card, stop right there. That excuse won’t work. Introversion is not about fear of public speaking, confidence or general shyness. It’s about how you get energized, and what takes energy from you. Don’t mistake being an introvert with being hesitant to ask a question or offer a comment in a team meeting.

So the next time you recognize that you are holding back, do two things: First, decide what you want your leadership reputation to be. Then ask yourself: “Is my fear of failure greater than my desire to succeed?”

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Do you have questions or comments about the issues in today’s post? If so, contact me at laura@vocalimpactproductions.com or click here to schedule a 20-minute focus call to discuss them with me personally!